It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better — But Does It?

You started something new.

New training program. New diet. New study routine. New job. New relationship. New medication. New anything.

And after a few weeks, things feel harder than before. You're more tired. More confused. More uncertain. Something feels off.

So someone tells you: "It gets worse before it gets better. Just push through."

Sometimes that's the truest advice you'll ever hear. Sometimes it's how people with no plan keep you committed to their no-plan. The terrifying thing is: both situations look exactly the same from the inside.

What's Actually Going On

The "it gets worse before it gets better" principle is real. There are genuinely processes where things get harder before they stabilise and improve:

• Building fitness. Muscle soreness, fatigue, reduced performance in the first weeks as your body adapts. This is real. It passes.
• Learning a new skill. The intermediate stage is often worse than being a complete beginner — you know enough to see all your mistakes but not enough to fix them. Real. It passes.
• Quitting an addiction or bad habit. Withdrawal is real. The urge gets worse before it weakens. This is documented physiology.
• Starting medication. Some treatments have initial side effects that stabilise. This is well-known in medicine and should be disclosed upfront.
• Transitional periods. Starting a new school, moving to a new city — short-term disruption, long-term gain. Often real.

But here's the thing: not every worsening is a productive valley you have to cross. Some things get worse because they're wrong. Because the approach isn't working. Because the person telling you to push through is either mistaken or protecting themselves from the consequences of their bad advice.

Real-Life Examples

The fitness red flag. A good coach can tell you roughly when soreness should peak and when you should start adapting. They can say: "Week 1-2 will be rough, week 3-4 you'll start feeling better." If the "worse before better" never ends — if it's been two months and you feel consistently worse — that's not a valley. That's a bad program, or possibly injury, or both.

The toxic relationship. "We're going through a rough patch, but we'll come out stronger." Sometimes this is true. Sometimes it's a rationalisation for a fundamentally bad dynamic. What distinguishes them: Is there a concrete reason things should improve? Is there actual change happening? Or is the "rough patch" just the relationship — and "it'll get better" is a story you're both telling so you don't have to make a hard decision?

The bad investment. "The stock is down, but it'll recover." Maybe. But sometimes it won't. "It'll come back" is not a strategy. Is there a real reason to believe in recovery — changed fundamentals, a clear catalyst? Or is this just loss aversion dressed up as patience?

The terrible teacher/boss/mentor. "You'll understand why I do this eventually." Sometimes wisdom takes time. Sometimes you're just being badly led, and the promise of future understanding is how bad leaders keep people compliant. What's the difference? A good teacher can explain their method at any point. A bad one gets vague when you ask.

Diet programs. Some cutting programs involve short-term hunger. But "feeling terrible and having no energy forever" is not a weight loss side effect — it's a broken diet. Legitimate programs include checkpoints and adjustments. Ones that don't tend to hide behind "just push through."

How to Spot the Difference

Ask: Is there a mechanism? Why should things improve? Can someone explain the process — not just reassure you that it'll happen? "Your body adapts to the training load" is a mechanism. "Just trust the process" is a slogan.

Ask: Is there a timeline? Real "worse before better" periods have rough estimates. If someone can't tell you when you should start seeing improvement — not exactly, but approximately — that's a warning sign. "It varies" is true. "I have no idea" means they're not actually managing this.

Look for incremental evidence. In a real adaptive process, something should be showing signs of progress — even if the main outcome hasn't improved yet. Strength should be increasing even if the scale isn't moving. Understanding should be deepening even if the grade hasn't risen yet. No signal at all is a signal.

Who benefits from you pushing through? This is a ruthless but important question. Does your discomfort directly benefit the person telling you to push through? A coach who loses a client, a company that loses a customer, a partner who loses a relationship — all have incentives to tell you to stay that have nothing to do with your wellbeing.

Compare your specific experience to the expected experience. "Some soreness" and "constant sharp pain" are both "worse." They mean different things. Get specific about what you're experiencing and whether it matches what a legitimate process would produce.

Your Challenge

Think of something in your life right now where you're pushing through difficulty because "it'll get better."

Ask yourself:

• Can you explain why it should get better — what's the mechanism?
• Is there a rough timeframe?
• Is anything showing early signs of improvement, even small ones?
• Who else benefits from you continuing, and does that create a conflict of interest?

This isn't about giving up. It's about knowing the difference between a valley on the way somewhere good, and a road that leads nowhere — and the people telling you to walk faster on it.

"Just trust the process" is sometimes wisdom. Sometimes it's someone else's answer to their own problem.