Rules Are for Everyone. Except Me, Obviously.

The "but I'm different" trick

🔥 Hook

You know the drill.

The whole class has to submit their essay by Friday. One person turns it in Monday. Teacher says nothing.

The sign says "no phones at the table." Your dad's on his phone.

The group chat rule is no spoilers. Someone drops the ending anyway with a casual "well I already watched it so."

And the excuse is always some version of:

"Yeah, but that rule doesn't really apply to me because [insert special reason]."

Welcome to Special Pleading — the art of demanding exceptions for yourself while holding everyone else to the standard.

🧠 What's Actually Happening?

Special Pleading happens when someone applies a rule to everyone else — but then invents a reason why they should be exempt from it.

The move looks like this:

• Agree that a rule or principle is generally true
• Face a situation where the rule applies to you
• Invent a special exception just for yourself — without any real justification

The problem? The "special reason" usually isn't special at all. It's just I don't want the rule to apply to me, dressed up in an excuse.

Here's a classic example:

"Cheating in exams is wrong."

"But I only cheated because I had a lot going on this week."

Lots of people have a lot going on. That's not an exception — that's just life. Everyone could say the same thing. So why does it only exempt you?

Philosophers call this an inconsistency. You're using one standard for others and a different one for yourself, without giving a real reason why the situations are actually different.

Real exceptions exist, by the way. If someone says "no running in the hallways" and someone's having a medical emergency — yeah, run. That's a genuinely different situation. Special Pleading isn't about that. It's about making up distinctions that don't actually hold up.

📱 Real-Life Scroll

This one is everywhere once you see it:

Twitter/X:

Person A: "People need to stop being late to meetings, it's disrespectful."

Person A, 10 minutes into a meeting: "Sorry I'm late, it was really chaotic this morning."

(Same person. Zero awareness.)

Instagram:

"I hate it when people subtweeet instead of just saying things directly."

[Posts a clearly pointed story about someone without naming them]

Group chat:

"Can we PLEASE stop sharing memes during study sessions"

[Sends a meme 4 minutes later]

"ok but this one's different"

YouTube comment section:

"Cancel culture is out of control, you can't say anything anymore."

[Same person calling for someone to be "cancelled" in a different comment]

School:

Teacher explains late penalty applies to everyone.

Student: "But I had sports practice."

(So did three other students. They handed it in on time.)

🔍 How to Spot It

The key question to ask is:

"Would this exception apply to anyone else in the same situation?"

If yes → it might be a real exception.

If no, or if the person would reject it when someone else tried it → Special Pleading.

Red flags to look for:

• "Yeah, but I'm different because..." — and then a reason that isn't actually different
• Someone enforces rules strictly on others but gets defensive when the same rules apply to them
• The "exception" only ever seems to benefit the person claiming it
• Changing the criteria depending on whose side benefits

A good test: flip it. Would they accept the same excuse from someone they disagree with? If not — special pleading.

It also shows up in big debates. Politicians who campaign against corruption but accept donations from questionable sources. Influencers who tell followers to "be authentic" while using heavy filters. Brands promoting sustainability while lobbying against environmental laws.

💬 What You Can Do

When someone pulls this move on you:

Option 1 — Apply the rule back:

"So if I did the same thing, would the exception apply to me too?"

Option 2 — Name the inconsistency:

"That's the same rule you said applied to everyone. What makes this different?"

Option 3 — The quiet internal move:

Just notice it. You don't always have to call it out. Sometimes just recognizing the inconsistency helps you take it less seriously — and trust the person less next time.

And the harder one — catch yourself doing it. Everyone does. The self-aware version isn't "I never make exceptions for myself." It's "I notice when I'm doing it and actually think about whether the exception is real."

🎯 Your Challenge

This week: catch Special Pleading — including your own.

Part 1: Find one example online (social media, news, comments) where someone holds others to a standard they exempt themselves from. Screenshot it.

Part 2: Think of one time you might have done this recently. Not to shame yourself — just to notice. Was the exception real? Or was it really just "I didn't want the rule to apply to me"?

Write down what a genuinely fair version of that situation would look like.

Consistency is harder than it sounds. But people who actually practice it? They're the ones worth trusting. 🎓